My dog is [seriously] on Prozac.

Something interesting happened today; my dog's insurance card came in the mail. 

'Dog' is her middle name.

Apparently Dog Prozac is the same thing as People Prozac, and they're both expensive. We found this out a few weeks ago when our border collie decided to start eating her way out of our condo. 

Little known fact: border collies go batshit crazy as they age. 

Another little known fact: your personal health insurance will not cover your dog's expensive prescription medication for her psychotic episodes. 

So, the kind people at Walgreens graciously signed us up for their club. The pharmacy technician entered her birth date and address into the system like she wasn't a dog, yet, her middle name removed all doubt. $20 later we were on our way towards  becoming cardholders of this "not insurance" health insurance plan!

I am a masochist, so I've created a list of the recent expenses added to the debits column, thanks to our batshit border:  

• Vet Bill - $60
• Prozac - $35 (only $15 after the not-insurance-insurance-plan enrollment fee!)
• Home Depot carpet measure and estimate - $35 (you see, our wood floors squeak and this noises frightens our batshit border)
• 3 area rugs and 2 runners - $380 (realizing carpet was a bad decision - priceless)
• Rescue Remedy - $20 (apparently this miracle liquid will transform our nutty pet into a perfect angel)

Grand total: $530

Good thing I have $80 worth of Prozac laying around.